transitioning….
It is my hope to be able to support myself on this journey.
….we can create our own reality right?
Thinking back on this time last year…. I can’t believe how far we have come. I am in awe of what we have been able to experience. So thankful for all this TIME…
Time… just a strange thing. I feel that as we age time goes so much faster. Days are here + then gone. I spent the other day re reading some of my old books i’ve written. My journals hold so much. I am so thankful to what memories I have stored in them. And then at the same time re reading them I wish I could have written more.
Back in high school I journaled “mama thinks that one day Brian and I will get married.” She called that one. We had our one year anniversary this month. It was amazing. How magical we got to experience a one year anniversary. I wasn’t sure if we would get the time. I wasn’t even sure if we would have the time to get married. Thinking back just one year ago… wow, I am so beyond grateful. One of my favorite moments of our wedding is after the ceremony, tears running down my face, and me saying “we did it.” we. did. it.
Currently, I am hoping to transition to creating a safe abundance net for when I need to take FMLA ( family medical leave ) or bereavement. Truth is, I dont have a savings + am currently living paycheck by paycheck. One of the reasons I moved home to Reno was to work + pay off some of my debt. Yes, I have been working on that, however, life sends us those waves.
I like to think that abundance is like a pendulum. Money comes in, money goes out, money comes back in. What my goal is in the next 6 months to have a safety net of funds set aside so I can take that time off work to care for my love. To grieve as I need to without worrying about paying the rent, bills, or food. I want to fully immerse myself in the time we have left as well as the time I need to take to greieve for bereavement.
My current job allows me to take 3 months of unpaid FMLA to care for my spouse + 3 paid days of work for bereavement. In my opinion I feel like this is just not enough for caretaker, for families, for anyone. I can’t imagine only taking 3 days off to grieve for the loss of my husband.
My goal is is by Septemeber to have enough funds to support in taking FMLA as well as 2 months to grieve. I def. think I will need more time to grieve. Everyone is different. Every situation is different. This is just what I have in my head + heart so far.
I am launching a new line of Medicine Talismans : The Ouroboros Collection. Each sale from the Ouroboros Collection goes into my grief fund. This will be my way of supporting myself during this future transition. Again, I have no way of knowing when I will need this but it is my hope that it is not anytime soon. Each piece represents the cycle of life, death, + rebirth. It is the ever-changing renewal of dying, shedding your skin, and reemerging into something new (someone new).
It is my hope to be able to support myself on this journey. I am tired of relying on a job that does not serve me. I am tired of spending time in front of a computer where I don’t feel supported by the company I am working for. I desire to be able to be independent + support myself financially with my art, my energy, my pieces.
We can create our own reality right? I’ve been scared. I’ve been holding on to the guaranteed bi-weekly paychecks. I’ve been holding on to that idea of stability. I am ready to shake it up. I am ready to step into my own. I am ready to create my own reality. My own growth. My own magic.
Thank you for being here. For being my village. For being my support. Thank you for allowing myself to express my desires + ideas, my thoughts + my feelings. I am so grateful. So so grateful for YOU….
